BACHELOR OATH OF SECRECY
In the Contract/Oath below, you must adhere to all guidelines and procedures in a strict
fashion. When the document refers to the Bachelor, he will be the one who is the poor soul
about to be incarcerated for the next 60 years with the same woman! The guys consisting of
the Bachelor party are described as Bachelor Brethren and are the ones who should make the
Bachelor's party a success by following the regulations below! Please take the following
document as serious (seriously funny) as possible since it will provide hours of fun and
I _____________________ solemnly swear that on
the weekend of ______________, 2014 in celebration of ___________________'s Bachelor
party; I will abide by the following rules and regulations:
1) I will not, in any way, take pictures with people of the opposite sex, those who look
female and may have had a sex change or any animals while the Bachelor party is in
progress. Failure to follow this rule will automatically make me exiled from the party.
2) I will act like I am five and promote immature behavior the whole weekend, including
loud, obnoxious outbursts are welcome during the festivities with at least one type of
alcohol shot purchased by the Brethren for group or bachelor consumption.
3) I will consume alcoholic beverages and promote drunkenly misconduct in the safest and
most appropriate fashion. If I am a sober driver or have a note from a doctor, I am
excused from drinking but must still promote animalistic behavior.
4) I will back up my fellow-Bachelor Brethren and always provide wingman-ship, even if it
means hanging with an ugly fat bearded lady for a few hours!
5) A Bachelor Brethren who has too much alcohol or has poor taste and is speaking with
fat, ugly chicks for more than one minute must be escorted back to the group of Bachelor
Brethren for protection and to save himself from embarrassment (which would have possibly
occurred the following morning).
6) I must embarrass the Bachelor at least once per hour. Embarrassment can only take the
form of attracting attention toward the poor soul getting married, and includes but is not
limited to, finding women to help in doing body shots with the Bachelor, making the
bachelor sing to women, dressing the bachelor up in silly clothes like prison attire,
hand-cuffing the Bachelor to a blow up doll and any other creative behavior!
7) In case of the emergency of a bachelor brethren needing to pray to the porcelain
goddess or visit Mr. Tidy Bowl Man, it is essential that I make sure one Bachelor Brethren
goes with the other Brethren In Need (BIN).
8) It is my responsibility to commute to a more exciting atmosphere when group energy is
dwindling. I must interact with other bachelor brethren to form a plan in moving to a more
9) I will not, at any time, think of work-related matters. If work does consume my mind, I
will forfeit party status and be seen as an outcast by the bachelor brethren.
10) Before signing the document below, I will say out loud, "What happens at the
Bachelor party STAYS at the Bachelor party!"
(Signature of Bachelor Brother)_______________________________________
(Signature of Best Man) ____________________________________________
Advice for the Bachelor (poor soul) about marriage: